SHE SAID "YES!!!!"

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Today, Sunday April 6th 2008 at 10:30am Pranvera Recica said she would be my wife!!!! After only knowing each other for 9 months, there was never any doubt in either of our minds that after 37 years of looking for 'the one', we finally found each other (and who would have ever thought in Kosovo). I can't even begin to describe the feeling of knowing I will be able to spend the rest of your life with my best friend and to be so warmly accepted into such a large family (which I never had). True to Albanian tradition, when you marry here, you don't just marry your partner but the entire family. And this is why I decided to do the propose as I did.

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In preparing for the big day I had to secretly plan meetings with both her brothers to ask for their support in marrying their younger sister and for them to help me approach her father asking for his daughter's hand. Of course all of this went smoothly but I felt it was important to respect local customs and have the entire family in on the surprise. Since Pranvera and I have certainly talked about marriage I wanted this to be as much of a special day as possible. And instead of taking her away for a special romantic weekend somewhere I wanted the place to very special for the both of us and accessible by her family and friends. So I decided to propose in the very place we first kissed, which happened to be on a very late night walk in the middle of Pristina's only 'open space'. But as you can see from the pictures, this area has nothing but green weeds, rocky ground and scattered trash. Not exactly the best place to be romantic.

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So, I decided to build a garden along the walkway to surprise her and offer some color and beauty back to the place that I will forever hold dear to my heart. But in order to pull all the planning off I need the help of Laura, her great sister-in-law. So the day before on a cold gray rainy morning we went to visit the nursery out of the city and look over the limited plant selection they have since it is still 2 weeks really before planting season. None the less I was able to find 50 beautiful flowers (minus the sunflowers I wanted since they are her favorite) and we returned back to the city so I could show the landscapers where to install the garden. Minus the unforeseen truckload of dirt and labor I needed to hire, everything was set for Sunday. The trick was they needed to come back the same morning I proposed to her so that nobody would steal or damage the flowers before we got there. Thanks to the watchful eye of Laura, the garden was beautifully built and waited for our arrival.

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The second part of the equation was making sure Pranvera's mom, brothers, their wives and kids and her close friends were also there to come out and celebrate (if) she said yes. My close friend Molly and a cameraman I hired were also hiding behind the library pillars to run out once I got up off my knee.
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She never knew what hit her. Nor did I. I had told her we were meeting a business associate of mine for brunch across town which required us to cross our special place. It also helped encourage the both of us to dress up a bit for this unusual early morning Sunday stroll (thanks Roman). As we got close to the park I sent a final text for all to hide and we walked up to our path. Despite the fact that there were all these beautiful flowers there now and nowhere else in the entire area, it did not seem to phase Pranvera too much. Till I finally started to comment about how nice they looked and the irony that they happened to be in our special place. Still needing a bit more help I said that I had had them placed right here. And she said 'How did I know the Mayor to do this???'

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Without waiting for more explanation I started to fumble through my prepared romantic words but unfortunately was getting almost too choked up to get the words out. Before dropping to my knee she asked if we were on candid camera? NO, but we are on your families cameras and I as I opened the ring box, I proposed in Albanian. Her shock and flood of tears not only muffled her reply of YES (which I had to confirm later) but I also completely forgot to take the ring out of the box and put it on her!!! She had just accepted the ring in box which happened to be a special solid Jade stone ring I had picked up on my travels. Ironically the box was harder to find than the ring. I wanted the traditional black velvet ring box which does not exist in Kosovo. So after much searching and borrowing back a similar plain black necklace box I had given to her earlier, I happened to find a velvet box in my safe box that I have had for at least 15 years.
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So after rising to my feet and embracing each other, I issued the signal cheer for the entire family to come out from hiding and celebrate with us. I can say without doubt the happiest moment in my life. For my family and dear friends around the world that I wish so much could be here right now to celebrate this special time, I will be posting the video later this week and when we finally arrive stateside expect to receive an invite for a wedding celebration so you may meet my 'better half'. Much love to everyone!!!!

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A White-Wonderland Weekend Walk

Up about a 1500 vertical meter mountain with tennis rackets on our feet and big smiles on our faces. And I guess you could say we adapted to the local conditions in Kosovo as well. Since the our local ski resort has stopped running the lifts (due to lack of Albanian tourists post independence in this Serbian enclave) we decided we would spend a day walking up it instead. We couldn't have picked a more perfect, warm sunny day for both of us to get the work-out of a lifetime and fall in love with a new sport, together, for the first time.

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Now its not as if we could hop down to our local sports store and rent a pair of these high-tech walking shoes. This took several weeks of sending emails to my friends in the international community before my friend Gail offered her pair to Pranvera and she connected me with a long time British expat here who also had a pair for me. As he and I were arranging a pick-up from his house in Brez I received a call from him saying that not only had he checked the blog to see who I was but he happened to notice Pranvera, who he had worked and lived with just after the war during their days at OXFAM. And it had been quite some time since they had reconnected since Tim had left for awhile. Small, small place. But even more perfect since we offered to take Tim down to the mountain where he just hung out for the day in his cabin and he guided Pranvera and I to the most perfect spot to begin our journey, up.

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Enlarge the photo on the right to see the tracks that we created walking up the mountain

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These things are actually easier than they look. Once you size them up, selected the gear and food we may need for the day we just started walking through the forest. The neat thing about snow shoes are that you make your own trail. We just wandered in and out of the trees picking a line we thought might be a little easier to float upon. There were certainly much softer sections of snow that we sunk into but for the most part you get good at noticing which areas look more frozen in order to keep our grip.
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And it was SO darn quiet. Once we stopped our snow crunching to hear the thundering of our own heats against our chest, you couldn't hear any other sound. We had almost no wind and the scattered clouds offered some protection against the beating sun. As you can tell from the photos Pranvera tends to get a bit hotter than I and she received a very nice tan from the double intensity of direct light and the snow reflection.

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It was hard to believe we were still in Kosovo with the winter wonderland around us. Of course in the rest of Kosovo spring is already popping up. But up here, still plenty of snow to play. And we tracked up and up where we were at almost 50 degree angles letting the spikes due their job to help get us to the top. And once there, we found a small green bush island to sunbath, eat and rest. Words and pictures can't even begin to capture the feeling of freedom and openness that only mother nature can provide.

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And we thought going up was going to be the hard part. WRONG. Since I have only gone down snow mountains on my snowboard, I had no idea how slow and challenging each step would be to make sure we did not slip. With the snow a bit softer from the sun and the still very intense angle we tried to side traverse down but not only does this start to hurt you feet more, it doesn't allow the spikes to completely drive into the snow and stop you from speeding down the mountain. My heart was thumping as much from our climb as on our descent after Pranvera slipped. She was a very good sport about it and calmed me down so we could spot each other slowly making the way safely all the way back the car.

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It was great to not have to retrace our steps as we trail blazed in 4 hours a path to the jeep. Before calling it a day we drove up to the empty resort to sit outside of the coffee houses and sip bad, overpriced coffee looking up towards the peak we just summited. Not to mention the bonus of playing with 7 newborn Sharri pups. Such a perfect weekend walk:-)

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Another Birthday Weekend Away

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And guess where? Yep, you got it. London. We have actually been trying to make this trip for almost four months with many complications arising as Pranvera tried to get a very overpriced visa so we could go and visit her best friends from grad school and I could see dear friends whose wedding I attended in New Zealand several years back. Visa in hand and a birthday celebration to boot, we hit the airport for a nice 3 hour direct flight to London's Gatwick. Amazingly there were not delays other than the fact at customs, many of the passengers did not speak English so Pranvera was running from one agent to the next helping all these Kosovars pass through customs mostly to see their Diaspora family. At one point 2 other people needed translations so in my 6 year old Albanian I helped them pass through the big scary guards. We were both quite proud of our good deeds.

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While waiting for luggage the 'sticker shock' of London hit me right in between the eyes as I purchased our roundtrip half-hour train ticket to the city for two persons: $126USD. But the smooth ride and Swiss-like punctuality, priceless:-) Two hours from landing we were at her friends apt who had most graciously vacated to her fiances for the weekend so we could have our own place in the most perfect neighborhood, Angle. After many hugs and introductions we all headed out to get some food. As we walked from pub to pub trying to combine some good food with authentic tap poured beer (don't get much imported draft in Kosovo), I was quickly reminded that London closes down early. No pubs were serving food after 10 so we eventually found ourselves at an awesome Thai restaurant which allowed me to check off my first culinary objective of the trip. Happily disappearing into my Disco Duck dish, listened to the old Harvard gang catching up on old times as we were joined by yet another classmate of Pranvera's. Very nice to finally meet many of the people I had heard so much about.

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Before too long we finally found ourselves at one of the later night pubs (most had already closed) with a pint in hand. Guinness thankyou. And it was perfect. Aside from losing an hour we held on as long as we could before we had to call it a night.
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Saturday started out as a slow 'us' day with typical cold grey sky outside. While Pranvera slept in a bit I hit the streets to search for a couple extra birthday gifts and some fresh fruit for breakfast. Was even able to grab an ultra healthy wheat grass and fruit shake right off a street vendor. We don't get that back in Pristina. Other things that immediately reminded me I was in London:

1. If you don't look right you might die stepping into the street.
2. Somebody can be looking right at you speaking English and you have no idea what they are saying.
3. No one parks on the sidewalks.
4. There is no mud anywhere, except in the parks where it should be.
5. Many pubs are closed by 11 but plenty of binge drinkers have enough time to get sick in the tube anyway.
6. Skies were constantly gray with rain.
7. Such terrible fashion that Kosovo looks good.
8. Prices, prices, prices.

We finally emerged from the apartment to spend an afternoon with her friends eating the most excellent meals, coffee stops with plenty of sweets, wandering around the quaint neighborhoods and breathing in relatively clean air. Wonderful!! However we parted ways early enough to take a rest before going out for our big birthday date night. I had gotten tickets for us to see 'Wicked' and we just loved it. I am a fan of theatre and musicals and it has been so long since I have seen a production on this scale that we truly ate it up. Pranvera also really enjoyed the story since everyone seems to know the story of the Wizard of Oz. Afterward we headed to Piccadilly to get a nice Indian dinner in the pouring rain. Afterward we were hoping to hit a bar/club for some nice music and dancing but as it turned out we were in kiddie club central and the cues were already forming in the rain with over sized bouncers and girls wearing next to no clothing on a cold winter night??? The one bar we could have easily entered had 2 poles on the bar and I noticed male dancers doing their thing to a mostly mail audience. Since it was her birthday I offered to join her if she desired. Once she stopped her laughing a very clear decision was made we were too old for this crap and to return to our neighborhood and see if anything was still open (not) or just crash.

If it was only that easy. We had to wait for several tube trains since the first ones we wanted were full. The subway was just packed with all the people coming into the city to go out. Outfits of kind imaginable from every corner on the planet. This is one thing I really do like about London. I believe it is the most multi-culture city anywhere with every ethnicity mixing we others. Eventually we arrived at the nice apt and fell into bed before having to wake up to meet my friends for our next day's outings.

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John I met almost 10 years back as we hiked a volcano in Indonesia. After only 3 days of hanging out and beating him in many games of chess (at least that's how I remember it) little did we know our paths would cross at least once every other year with many many emails in between. And that eventually I would be invited to celebrate his finding someone willing to put up with his Kiwi antics and attend their wedding in New Zealand. Since they both live and work in London I try to see them anytime I pass through the lovely city. John is only my second pre-Kosovo friend to meet Pranvera and we got a total thumbs up from them both. Tanja and Pranvera hit it off as John and I chilled out catching up on old time. First we polished off the most excellent Eggs Benedict with 2 killer cups of coffee (which I NEVER drink so I was wired). We then hit the city to walk a bit with John (as a former guide in London) show us all the back alley paths and hidden history of London. As we made our way across the Millennium bridge we spent the next several hours in the Tate and observed the most beautiful rainbow when the rains stopped. It was so nice to see a bit of culture and to be reminded of what it would be like to live in a developed city. SO much to do...

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Wanting to let John and Tanja have a bit of their Sunday to themselves we broke off to explore the National Art Gallery (where I learned that she and I even do museums that same way avoiding many of the portraits and moving onto the landscapes but moving relatively quickly the whole time) and a large bookstore where we gathered several books we wanted to look through while having a late in their cafe but as soon as we arrived they closed it down. A bit disappointed we left to return to the apartment for a rest but this time opted for the cheaper and traditional doubledecker bus to make it home (better than the $8.20 fare price for the tube). After a quick shower we met both Pranvera's friends and mine for a birthday dinner celebration. We all went to the most perfect small French cafe where we each dove into an excellent red wine, various steaks, salads, fish and my steamed mussels!!! I don't believe any food was remaining as the lively conversation transitioned into coffee, dessert and then making our way to the same pub as the first night to nestle near their fireplace for a final nightcap. All our friends got along great and for a moment it seems as if we were all one big happy family living in one big happy city. But alas, we had to wake up the next day in one of the worst storms London has had this year to train ourselves (delayed) back to Gatwick and with 10 minutes to spare board our plane back to Kosovo (miraculously on time). Of course it all went way to quickly but at least we can say we rang in Pranvera's birthday in style!!!

In Between the Rest

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Believe it or not living in Kosovo isn't all about the weekend get aways. Mostly, it is about living and working day to day in a regular routine like anywhere else in the world. But with the subtle differences of not having power at some point every day, constantly fighting a runny nose or cough due to various viruses or breathing the very polluted air, always having mud on your shoes and pants and not understanding most of what people are saying around you. On the flip-side, I am able to walk to and from work everyday in under 10 minutes, a majority of each work day begins at 8 and ends at 5 which usually includes some type of meeting, training, or field visit to a client outside of Pristina, I hit my local gym 2-3 times/week, teach yoga twice/week, and am usually able to arrange frequent, nice dinners out for under $12USD (even if our dollar is the weakest ever).

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Pranvera and I will see each other most everyday whether for a meal, a workout, a machiatto, a walk, or just hanging out watching our nightly 1 hour of 'Scrubs' on TV. I feel like I have gotten older quite quickly out here since aside from my scheduled activities, I don't find myself out drinking and partying like I used to. An obvious reason is the smoke literally kills me in almost any establishment but I think I have also become bored with going to the same places and seeing the same people time and time again. I often wish there were more live music halls or even dance places that start before 1am that would get me excited about having a night on the town. We have been known to do a karaoke night out here or there but often times will attend private 'going away parties' or group meals at the nicer bars/restaurants and then calling it an evening.

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Of course with the massive abundance of DVD shops selling black market copies for 1.5 euros of anything you can see in the theaters, movie night is a must every now and then. Whenever I can actually find my local movie man open, I am able to rent a relatively good quality version for a mere 50 cents. And then there is my recent attempt at learning Serbian. It lasted for about 3 weeks and then with getting sick, or traveling, or being tired, I realized I just don't have it in me to learn another language out here. In reality I will be leaving the Balkans come this summer to return to the US and for any regional travel I do between now and then I'll have Pranvera to be able to translate everything fluently. Plus, if I have any brain-power left to learn more, I have plenty of room for improvement with my Albanian. I still try to practice weekly with Pranvera's mom and nieces whenever I am over visiting. Slowly slowly.

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So then there is work. There was a point at the beginning of the year when several of my projects weren't going to happen and I was just dying trying to fill each day. In this line of work I really find I have very good days and bad. Some of them I doubt that I get this development thing or that anything I have done out here makes any difference or was any benefit to those I am trying to help. Other days I feel like I moved the mark a little. With only 4 months left with my work with my project, the schedule appears very very full. A summer marketing internship program I created for 10 students and 10 businesses will soon be realized so preparation on selecting the students, preparing their job descriptions with the companies and putting in place supervision of their jobs is slowly coming together. My team still has several big conferences and trade linkage events to produce while we continue to train companies and associations on how to do marketing.

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The most exciting thing I have created is a Packaging Design Competition that I designed as a way to provide assistance and training to local businesses and marketing agencies on improving the terrible packaging of local food and beverage products. The exciting thing about this is that it has never been done like this before and each target I created has been realized. It proves the power of belief in getting others on board to help you realize your dream. This activity will culminate in an 'Oscar' style award ceremony that will be broadcast live on TV, have one of the international judges I recruited flown in to deliver the top 3 awards and then have some of the labels actually produced on the packaging. Similar to the internship program this event has a local organization I partnered with that will take on responsibility after the completion of the pilot event and produce hopefully more successfully in years to come. En shalleh.

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Weekend days around town are very low key. They usually involve a trip to the local market for fresh fruit and vegetables and every other week when I can take a project vehicle I will drive out of Pristina to one of the large hypermarkets to stock up on all the other needed foodstuffs. Weather provided, Pranvera and I will do our token power hike out in Gremia which is the only green space park area right outside the center of town where we can get into nature, breath fresher air, see the kids, dogs and families playing and get mud on our boots (as it should be). This is where I have done most the mountain biking over my time out here but for the time being it is just too wet and muddy.

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I will try and spend some time at Pranvera's house and am usually lucky enough to grab at least one large late lunch with various members of the family. I really love her mom's home cooking and feel blessed to basically have a second family who has adapted me. I love playing with her nieces and nephew who remind me of the special time I miss with my cousin's kids back in Washington. They are one of the reasons I really look forward to moving back to DC after I complete my 'tour of duty' in Kosovo. But not before Pranvera and I take off for 1 month to enjoy Thailand over the summer. A well deserved break in warm clear air and water for us both. In the meantime we'll continue with our various weekend adventures including London with very close friends of us both to celebrate Pranvera's birthday. Now we are both the same age in mind, spirit and body (although all my friends still say she is the fun one:-)